Get Motivated

Are You Lazy, Unmotivated?

Is this what people tell you? You’re not committed, you’re not listening, you’re plain lazy? I got all of those, oh, maybe not in those particular words but I knew I was a disappointment to many people. Is this you too? Maybe you keep losing jobs or borrowing money “just one more time”. It’s not too late. You CAN do something about it, if you want. Do you want to change those people’s views about you?

Do You Relate To This?

Have you ever found your mind wandering at school, at college, at work? Maybe you find it hard to concentrate on any one thing? I suffered from this in school. I was constantly being told off for daydreaming and I found it really hard to listen to the teacher, complete my homework or to study for exams. I just could not stay focused on any one task and often the view out of the window was much more intriguing!

Not Reaching Full Potential

All my school reports talk about not performing as well in exams as I did in class and any subject that required a bit of thought and application, such as maths? Forget it!

They Thought I Was Lazy

They all thought I was lazy, so did I. I couldn’t understand why and how I couldn’t do the work. I knew I was as smart as my classmates. My parents would have loved to have seen me do well, they would even have rewarded me financially for it but nothing worked. My classmates told me their parents just told them to “do their best” and they did, mine were constantly disappointed because they knew that what I produced was not the best they thought me capable of. But I just couldn’t get focused on getting the work done. On the other hand, I spent hours in the library, reading fiction and books on all sorts of subjects, which had nothing to do with what I was supposed to be focusing on. I was brought up in the days before the Internet, with parents who believed in “early to bed”. I used to spend the dying hours of daylight hidden behind the bedroom curtains (ruining my eyesight) reading any books available, including medical texts and biology books but they didn’t have anything to do with my subjects at school!

Searching For An Answer

I have been looking for an answer to this for over 50 years! I struggled through a bachelor’s degree and swore I would NEVER read a textbook again. It took me 10 years before I managed to even try an evening class in tourist Spanish and gave up after 3 sessions. But then computers started coming in and I had always wanted to use a computer. This was in the days before the first PC! I managed to struggle through 3 years of evening classes and got a qualification as a junior programmer – I have NEVER used it.

How to Stay Focused

I recently found a program that has actually helped me stay focused on what I want to do. It’s not cheap but I have learned so much from it that I believe it is well worth the price, so I am letting you know about it too. The cost is probably less than some of my friends would pay for a good night out!

Worse Than Me?

It is produced by a man who was worse than me! I didn’t believe that was possible but he explains how he lost so many jobs, he had to end up borrowing the rent money from his mother. His program told me why I was like this and the explanation made sense. It also showed me the reason why, using a great analogy that totally clicked with me and he then told me how to get this to work FOR me and gave me strategies for getting things done. I have now done a lot more of the things I WANT and NEED to do since getting this program, including finally finishing my education!

I have been on many courses in my life and found that if you could get two or three new ideas from them, then attending the course was worth the time and money. Just from the ideas and the understanding I gained, this course has been WELL worth the money and a LOT less expensive than many of those all day or all week courses I went on years ago. I currently have one of his tips sitting on the wall beside me as I write this, to keep me focused.

Get The Program In Ways That Suit YOU

The program is provided in several ways, so you can access it in the way that best suits you. You can get it on videos, as PDFs or as MP3s. All these methods are available to you, you can use them all, mix and match or listen or watch only the ones that suit you. He also provides workbooks for you to work through his ideas and get them to suit you. These are important. They don’t take long to do but they help consolidate what you will learn and understand so you can apply these methods and ideas. There is also support available, which some people make great use of because they may be social learners.

One last thing. The man who produced this program made a sales video about it. I don’t like videos because I am a fast reader but his video was so compelling, and meant to much to me in terms of how he went through exactly the same and worse than me, that I listened for the full 30 minutes, probably a record for me! You can get this program here. Thanks for reading.

Food Addiction

Addiction to certain substances has long been recognized but now food addiction, including sugar addiction, is being seen as a serious problem too. It is thought that the reward centers of the brain are activated when we eat something we perceive as a reward or a comfort in the same way an addictive drug activates that part of the brain.

The kinds of foods we are usually addicted to are high fat and high sugar foods which are bad news for weight and health.

Signs that you are addicted to food:

• Being overweight
• Eating in secret or covering up what you eat
• Seeing foods as good or bad
• Feeling guilt or shame over your eating habits
• Focusing on food all the time
• Feeling as though you can’t control your eating

If you recognize two or more of these behaviors in yourself you are likely addicted to food!

So how can we treat this addiction?

1. Traditional recovery programs for alcohol and substance abuse recovery

These advocate completely giving up the addictive substance. Everything in moderation does not work for this kind of problem! Truthfully figure out which foods are ‘trigger’ foods for you, then you need to remove them completely. This means not buying them, not even having them in the house – not even for anyone else, and also avoiding places you would traditionally consume the foods (like fast food restaurants).

2. Learn how to eat ‘mindfully’.

This means focusing on what you are eating and how it makes you feel. That might mean not eating in front of the TV, at a desk while working, or while wandering around town. Take time to sit down and enjoy your food.

3. Replace your trigger foods with alternatives that you enjoy.

Too often we are too strict. If you try to replace your chocolate bar with a bowl of lettuce you will likely fail. But if you love strawberries or dried apricots or exotic fruits like mango these will still satisfy you. Make small changes first. Take time to learn about healthy eating – not dieting but consuming foods for optimal health. You could follow bloggers or subscribe to a magazine. The more you know, the easier it is to make those changes.

4. Learn coping strategies.

This could include learning to go for a walk when you feel stressed or anxious, or phoning a friend to talk about your bad day instead of reaching for the chocolate. Reading a book, going to an exercise class, taking up meditation – find what works for you.

5. Seek professional help.

It may turn out that your addiction is so deeply ingrained that you need more help. Doctors can refer you to certain therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy, or you could get a book out of the library. Not everyone can afford private therapy but it is a possibility for some. And some people try hypnosis. You can find a hypnotist near you or try some of the programs you can find on line.

Last Minute

A former colleague told me a story one time about a friend of his, a school teacher, who left school early on the last day of the school year to buy wallpaper and paste, so he could decorate a room in his house at a leisurely pace over the summer holidays. Two months later, on the last day before term started, he was rushing to start and finish the job! An example of procrastination at its finest?

Of course, he is not the only one. There are many examples of this type of procrastination and once you have sighed and blushed over these, I will give you Just One tip on how to avoid being one of these stories.

Student Syndrome

A recent study was run on “procrastination in schools” and the results were remarkable. Over 90% of students suffer from procrastination whether it involves tests, assignments, or exams. This tends to get worse as they grow older and does not fade away. This is often known as “student syndrome”, where the project has been given plenty of time for preparation, so the student puts off starting because they have “plenty of time” but of course, that time slips away. There is a book written for procrastinators in upper school and College for writing essays and even pulling an overnighter but you will need to know the material, unless it is a pure conjectural or fiction type of essay. I wish I had known about this book when I was in school but the author wasn’t even born then. It’s an excellent book and will only take about 2 hours to go through. You can even download it to a Kindle so you can get stuck in straight away. I have read it and used it during my doctoral studies but it is also useful for school pupils writing essays. It is called “Don’t Panic: The Procrastinator’s Guide to Writing an Effective Term Paper” by Steven Posusta.

There are a select few who can overcome this problem and continue to improve as students. The rest struggle and these bad habits continue even into academic life. Some academics in University seldom publish papers in journals (as they are required to do), they just don’t “get round to it”. There is a useful book available for them too, on writing a journal article in 12 weeks, based on a paper or essay they have already written, no matter how poor. Again, this is an extremely useful book but is aimed at academic journal articles in all fields. This book is called “Writing Your Journal Article in Twelve Weeks: A Guide to Academic Publishing Success” by Wendy Belcher.

Biggest examples of procrastination?

Does it happen elsewhere? You KNOW it does!

Let’s take a peek at a few more stories.

1) Work Assignments

There is no better example than the employee with a major presentation coming up, and who delays preparing for it. After all, in the US, people are said to be more frightened of speaking in public than of death! You might feel comfortable about your knowledge on the topic and prefer to put off preparing. This happens all the time because people don’t want to do the work. You might know the topic, but is that a good reason to delay preparing? What if there are hitches along the way? Procrastination could lead to serious trouble, and it often does. Remember that old adage – To fail to Prepare is to Prepare to Fail.

2) Cleaning

Cleaning is another example of procrastination at its finest. People might have spring cleaning around the corner or just a general day where the rooms have to be vacuumed, and the dusting has to be done. Well, they will delay it to a point where the house is a mess, and it is hard to move around. The same goes for those who leave the dishes to the end of the night rather than doing them along the way. This leads to a pile of dirty dishes no one wants to look at.

There is a “Just One” tip below to help with this.

3) Confrontation

Ever felt like a person was bullying you? What about those were not doing their end of the bargain on a group project? It happens all the time, and certain people put off tackling it because they feel it will turn into confrontation and those repercussions can require further attention which frightens them, so they deny it is happening.

What To Do?

These are all examples of procrastination at its finest. There is a lot of risk attached to putting things off for so long, and it is rarely the right option. So what can you do?

Just One

My preferred option is doing “Just One” and I apply it to everything where I am likely to procrastinate. Just One, means exactly that. If I am procrastinating on putting the laundry away, I tell myself, “Just one item” or sometimes “just one minute”. I put away one item as I pass the laundry drier on the upper landing, even if it is only a hanky. It’s only one item BUT, it’s done, it’s away and I can do another one next time I pass. If it’s an essay, then “Just One” might mean “one minute”. I can pin a piece of paper to my noticeboard and write down 5 questions about the subject in that one minute. If someone is not pulling their weight on a project, I ask them for one minute of their time and say what I am doing, then ask for their comments. There is no confrontation and because the intervention happens with plenty of time before the project is due, it gives them a chance to overcome THEIR procrastination.

When you are confronted with a big task that you don’t know where to start, Do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, just do something, JUST ONE. You will feel freer and an awful lot better. That dread in the pit of your stomach will start to lift and you will see a way through to completing it. Maybe not right away but you will find that path towards completion.

Carrying Through a Long Project

If you need to carry through a long project with several steps, you may find this new post on how to stop procrastinating helpful. It includes a visual tool for comparing what you have done with what still is left to do and because you stick it up somewhere you will see it every day, it provides a visual reminder of the undone project, rather like a Daruma doll, only it shows you what steps to take.

Procrastination – Is It Laziness?

Do you tend to procrastinate at work or when studying? Some people think they are being lazy when they find other activities to do instead of what they should be doing or that they feel they should be doing. Procrastination is putting off doing a particular job instead of just getting it done but there can be many reasons for this. Sometimes it’s boredom or dislike of routine jobs like washing dishes or cleaning the car but for many people, the job they are trying to do is just too hard or they don’t know how to go about it.

What is Procrastination?

Do you find yourself surfing the internet, playing a game or watching TV when you should be studying? Maybe you take a few more trips to the water cooler or the coffee machine or stay longer in the canteen instead of writing that report or getting out those figures? Maybe the dishes get done instead of the pile of ironing, or hanging a picture on the wall instead of decorating the spare room? That is procrastination – putting off doing something – avoiding it.

Sometimes it’s really hard

Not doing the dishes or washing the car may often be down to boredom but not studying for an exam or writing a big report may be because you simply don’t know how to do it or even how to get started. In work, often people think this kind of stuff was learned in school but that’s not always necessarily so. If you have a really big and hard job to do, then here are five tips to help you stop procrastinating and seeing yourself as lazy:

1. Get a Break Away.

If you are feeling very bad about this piece of work, whether it’s a report or studying, then sitting mulling over it or playing games instead of getting on with it won’t help. Take 5 minutes, half an hour, half a day or whatever you need to calm your feelings down. Sometimes time pressures won’t allow a long break but even 20 minutes kicking leaves under a tree in the park or even sitting in the peace of the nearest toilet cubicle can give you time to regroup your strength and deal with your feelings of anger, despair, fear or whatever.The break does NOT include sitting on the computer or other avoidance tactics. This is time to allow you to deal with feelings about this piece of work.

2. Find Support.

The best support is having someone to listen who will not interrupt or judge you. If you don’t have a close friend, then phone someone. If you really do not have anyone to talk to about this, then write down your thoughts in a journal. There are even online journals where you can write anonymously and no one will see it. Talk (or write or scribble or draw) about the problem. It’s fine to grumble about the people involved, the short timescale, the difficulties involved but NOT to be negative about yourself. You are NOT lazy or stupid. If you want to say something about yourself, then couch it in terms such as “I don’t YET know how to start on this”. You would be best to bin or burn any document like this after you finish it. You will have got rid of your negative feelings and you don’t need to re-energise them.

3. Make a checklist.

If you have terms of reference for a report or a feedback list of things to do or an item to study up on for a test, then draw up your own list of baby steps towards getting it done. Don’t use someone else’s list. I find the best way is to have 3 columns on a piece of paper, one for the list of baby steps and the other two columns to show what I have done and any extra work arising from that. I generally colour in the steps I have taken in green and the new steps that arise from that in red until I do those too, then I do those in green too. Seeing a list of checkmarks or green lines is motivating because it shows I am moving on with the work.

4. Ask For Help.

If making your checklist seems too difficult, then it’s time to ask for help, direction or support from the person who set you the task. They may not realise that the task is as difficult as it seems to you or they may have been unclear in their direction. It’s better to ask for direction while you still have time to complete the task, rather than complain you couldn’t do it when it’s already too late to do something about it.

5. Rebuild Your Passion.

If you are doing this for yourself, it’s much easier to work on it. Do you want to do well in your job, get an exam, be qualified to do a job you want? Then develop your passion for the job or the study. Work out WHY you want to do this in the first place. And remember, it’s always for YOU, even if someone else pushed you towards the goal in the first place. If you do not want this goal, then find the one you DO want and use these tips to reach that instead.

Avoiding Avoidance

Now I have procrastinated long enough – time to get back to my checklist of baby steps and tick a few more off the list!

Avoiding procrastination

If you are a procrastinator and find it hard to motivate yourself to start that project or get a piece of work done then these 8 top tips can help.

1. WHY?

Look at what needs to be done and ask yourself why you are doing it? Think of all the positive reasons for getting the job at hand started and what the end goal is. You should be able to come up with a few answers to motivate yourself. If you cant think of any answers it night be time to give up on that particular project.

2. CHUNK IT!

A big job can seem daunting but breaking a project down into manageable chunks can help you get started. Set attainable goals and be realistic. Once you’ve broken it down into chunks it can be helpful to get the parts you are dreading done first. This is called delayed gratification. Do the worst parts first then you can enjoy the easier parts without dread.

3. FAKE IT FIRST

Have you heard the phrase ‘fake it to make it’? Try telling yourself you will do just 5 minutes of the job at hand. More often than not once you’ve done the 5 minutes you will be engaged enough to carry on for longer.

4. FEELINGS

It might be helpful to think about what is stopping you. For example is it boredom, fear of failure, tiredness? Trying to sort through your feelings and dealing with them can free you up to get started.

5. PLAN

Planning can be key. You are much more likely to start a job if you have everything you need to do the job to hand. Try planning the night before by writing a list of work to be done and laying out everything you need ready to use the next day. For example if you are writing a report make sure you have all the books you need, staionery, computer desk is clear and organised etc.

6. SUPPORT

Get help if possible. Do you really need to do everything yourself or can you delegate or work in partnership? Spreading the work makes things easier and can be more enjoyable.

7. WHAT’s NEW?

Try something new. If you are doing a regular task that you dread try doing it in a different way. Hate mopping the floor? Put loud music on and have a good boogie as you mop. Writing a boring report – can you take a laptop and do it in a nice cafe? Shaking things up a bit can help.

8. STOP PERFECTIONISM!

Give up on perfectionism. Sometimes our quest for perfection stops us even starting. Accept that sometimes it better to get a task done even if its not perfect than to not even try.

Try to implement one or two of these tips and build on that and you should find yourself feeling refreshed and newly motivated, ready for anything and excited to get started!

Sleep Well

Regularly getting a good nights sleep makes a huge difference to so many aspects of our lives. Our health, energy, productivity, mood, sex drive – all will be greatly improved by good quality sleep. Stress can cause sleeplessness and lack of sleep can cause stress. It can feel like a vicious cycle!
If you are struggling to get to sleep or feeling as though your sleep quality isn’t good then the following ways to get to sleep might help.

Ban TV

1. Ban screens for at least an hour before bed – two hours would be even better. The back light from screens has been proven to suppress our melatonin levels. Melatonin is a hormone which is essential for helping us fall asleep. So get rid of the TV in the bedroom and put your phone down an hour or two before bed. Read an actual paper book rather than your kindle.

Cut Down On Food And Liquid

2. Watch your food and liquid intake. Avoiding caffeine is a no brainer. And while a little alcohol might seem to make you sleepy it actually has a detrimental affect on sleep quality. A heavy meal will also make it harder to sleep soundly as your system struggles to digest rich, heavy food.

These help you sleep

3. Certain foods and drinks can aid sleep. According to the BBC good food website drinking milk can help, or eating yoghurt, bananas, oats, tuna, poultry, eggs and peanuts. These all contain good amounts of tryptophan which aids the production of melatonin. Herbal teas such as camomile, passionflower and valerian tea contain mild sedatives too.

Exercise Earlier in the Day

4. Exercise but do it at the right time! Yes regular workouts will aid sleep but there is evidence to show that working out close to bed time makes it harder to get to sleep. If you can fit your workout in earlier in the day then do so.

Routines, Habit and Rituals

5. Routine is important. Going to bed and getting up at the same time every day can help you sleep. Performing the same bedtime routine each night can help too. You may een find it helpful to develop your own rites for sleeping – a set of habits you perform each night, to get you into the habit of going to sleep quickly and easily.

Dark is Good

6. Sleep in the dark. In this day and age of street lights and multiple electronic gadgets with lights on them it is unusual to be in a completely dark room. Light interrupts our sleep rhythms. Try to sleep in a fully darkened room. You can buy black out blinds or curtains if needed.

Deal With Stress

If you need help dealing with stress, look at this article. And if your sleep is disturbed by snoring, check out the best way to stop snoring

Try all of these tips and you will be on your way to a better nights sleep.

Often when we decide to lose weight we do really well for a week or two but then motivation fades and we give up. We may even put any weight we did lose back on and sometimes an extra few pounds too. 🙁

So keeping up our motivation in the long term is the key to success.

Here are 9 top tips to staying motivated:

1. Write It Down! Write down your reasons for wanting to lose weight. Try not to be too vague. For example instead of writing ‘I want to feel healthier’ you should try to think of specific areas of your health you want to improve such as achy joints or constant tiredness.
2. Make a poster to pin up somewhere you will see it daily, using a few of your top motivations.
3. Set yourself realistic attainable goals. Many people embarking on a weight loss diet expect too much. A good goal to start with is losing 10% of your body weight. Losing just 10% is associated with multiple health benefits including less chance of getting diabetes and heart disease and less stress on your joints. If you are very overweight set small goals like losing 10 lbs rather than focusing on the full amount you eventually want to lose
4. Set non weight related goals. For example to eat 5 fruit and veg a day or take a daily walk.
5. Avoid fad diets. Try to focus on healthy eating rather than the latest craze. Try to think of this as a change of lifestyle rather than a diet.
6. Visualise Yourself already there! Spend time each morning visualising how you will look and feel when you reach your goal. How do you look? What are you wearing? How do you feel? Studies have shown that visualisatiom techniques can aid weight loss.
7. Recognise your triggers. If you are a boredom eater try having something healthy to hand like chopped vegetables and a healthy dip to snack on when boredom hits. If you are an emotional eater try going for a run when you feel stressed instead of eating. (These are examples – you need to find a strategy that works for you).
8. Focus on non scale victories (NSVs) and reward yourself. For example if you managed to do that 5k run, buy yourself a snazzy running outfit.
9. Forgive yourself when things go wrong. Focus on what you have achieved already and dont go off the rails after. If you have had a binge for example you wont have done much damage if you just accept it amd get back on plan but a downward spiral of guilt and more bingeing could cause you to give up all together and send you back into the cycle of yo yo dieting.

Try to incorporate these strategies on a daily basis and you will be well on your way to a healthier, lighter and happier you! You will also find further help in these other posts.