Top Tips On Responsibility

I Don’t Want To Be Responsible

Do you hate to hear the words “Be Responsible”? Maybe you have grown deaf to hearing it, or maybe you don’t know why people say it to you? Responsibility is one of the perks and disadvantages of being an adult. It’s a perk because others expect and allow you to be responsible for what you do. It can be seen as a disadvantage by some because they are expected to be somewhere on time or to have money remaining before payday arrives! Responsibility may be seen as the price to pay for freedom. If you choose not to take responsibility, life may certainly be less demanding, though maybe not less stressful. When you are not responsible, you can shrug and blame your problems on others, on “them”, on, “I didn’t ask for it”. And the price you pay for that? Lack of personal power and self-esteem, constant feeling of being a “victim”, and nothing interesting and challenging ever comes your way. When you become an adult, you gain the rights and obligations of total responsibility for your own life, if you choose to accept them. If you want rights, you have to accept the obligations that go with them and that includes taking responsibility for your own actions.

Irresponsible

There are several types of behavior that someone might describe as “irresponsible”, such as someone who acts in a way that shows they do not understand or care about the consequences of those actions, or that they are careless of those consequences. They might also be referring to the person’s attitudes, that is, what they say or their opinions, or lack of them. It may be a parent who is irresponsible, putting themselves and their wants first before their children’s best interests or safety. They may also be called “immature”. But just because someone is of mature age, does not necessarily make them into a responsible adult. If you have a child, it is your responsibility to look after them. If you take on a duty or responsibility then you must mean that you will carry it out.

9 Tips On How To Be Seen As Responsible.

Start small.

Prove you can handle the small stuff. I have heard irresponsible people say “I’m not doing THAT, it is beneath me”, or “It won’t get back to the person who thinks I am not responsible”. You need to PROVE you can handle the small stuff before you get entrusted with the bigger stuff. And don’t think that your actions or words, good or bad, won’t get back to someone who is important to you. There is always a little bird around that will mention something. As the song says, “The night has a thousand eyes”. Responsibility has to be earned, it’s not an entitlement that comes with age. No one is going to put you in charge of something important if they don’t know whether you can even handle the less important stuff.

Wash Your Own Bowl

It literally means that you wash your own dish after a meal. It also means to pick up after yourself. If you make a mess, a responsible person clears it up, not waiting for someone else to do the job for them. This includes such small and what might appear to be menial or trivial items, like closing the gate behind you, picking up your dirty clothes and putting them in the wash basket or putting the top back on the toothpaste. These things may seem very small but each of these actions or non-actions says something about you and your level of responsibility.

No More Excuses And Stop Blaming Others

People who are not responsible shift the blame to other factors or other people, when they cannot complete or carry out something – on the lines of “The dog ate my homework”, or “I would have done, it, honest, but…”. Those excuses all shout out loudly “I am not a responsible person”.

Stop Whining

A complaint is a sign that something needs to be done by the PERSON DOING THE COMPLAINING. Even if your complaint is “HE needs to do something” or “SHE needs to change”. You cannot force anyone to change. You can only change yourself. If you are only ever complaining about others, it’s like finger pointing – one finger points at the other person and three fingers back at you. Think about it. Try saying something positive about the person or situation instead: it is amazing how this can change your own mood and perceptions.

Don’t Be A Victim

The world may be hard but isn’t out to “get you”. Usually, you will find that no one is is trying to make you look bad, except you, yourself. You didn’t get a speeding ticket because “they” were out to get you but because you exceeded the speed limit. “Everyone does it” is NOT an excuse.

Be Reliable

Being reliable, means you do what you say you will do, be there on time, pick the item up. And don’t over commit yourself.

Be Grateful.

Cultivate what is called “the attitude of gratitude”. Say thank you when someone does something for you. Starting and continuing a gratitude journal or keeping a gratitude jar can be extremely helpful and therapeutic.

Punctuality

Punctuality is one sign of a responsible, reliable person. It shows you do not want to waste someone else’s time and that you think of others. That also means not waiting til the last minute if you need to change plans to meet someone. Let them know as soon as possible.

Listen.

We have two ears and one mouth, as the saying goes, so listen twice as much as you speak. Listening helps you understand things. You may be very surprised at how much influencing you can do just by listening and helping the other person express themselves.

These may all be very small items but choosing one and continuing to do it, helps to develop and show your level of responsibility. As you get better, take on more of these items and soon you will be seen as a responsible person.

Motivation When You Don’t Have Any

Motivational Quotes

Babe Ruth said, “You just can’t beat the person who never gives up”. Writers facing writers’ block have been told, “Apply rear end to seat and stay there until you have written X number of words”.

But sometimes, motivation doesn’t seem to work!

No Motivation

Is motivation the only key to success? When you feel motivated, it may seem easy to finish your tasks and work towards your chosen goals. After all, when you feel motivated, you feel like you can fly though every task and easily reach your every goal. But the problem may be how to reach your goals when you do not feel motivated to do so?

When your motivation to achieve is missing, every task related to the goal may seem like drudgery. And it may seem that your goals will never be realized. There are two ways to get through those times when you don’t feel motivated. One of them is to commit to something and stick to it. The other is to have developed a habit that will carry you through. The second method means you plan ahead, developing a solid habit, knowing that those times will come. But when you just cannot work up the motivation to get you through the tasks you need to complete to achieve your goals, and you have not developed a habit that will carry you through automatically, sit down and remember the commitments you made to yourself.

Sometimes, we find it easier to keep promises, or commitments, to others, than to ourselves. As children, we may have been taught never to break a promise made to others. But we need to treat ourselves as just as important as anyone else, in that we keep our promises to ourselves also.

Why Do We Fall – Motivational Video

It’s also easier to stick to commitments when they are written down and especially if they have been published for everyone to see. If you want to stick to a commitment you have made, write it down and post it on a social media page, or pin it to your home bulletin board. Even write a letter or email and send it to someone who will ask about it.

Motivation quotes

“Only I can change my life, no one can do it for me”, Carol Burnett

Conclusion

If you know that your motivation for a goal may not last the race, plan ahead, develop a habit that will carry you through. Write down your commitment and publish it. Check it regularly and check your progress towards your goal.

The Best Habit Of All

The Best Habit Of All

What if I told you there was a habit you could develop that could

  • improve your health;
  • help you lose weight;
  • make it less likely that you have an accident, a heart attack or a stroke;
  • improve your productivity;
  • increase your concentration;
  • improve your mental health; and,
  • possibly reduce the risk of you suffering from depression?

Wouldn’t you want to know what it was? And no, it does not need separate habits to achieve all this. They are all by-products of the single, one and only same habit that you can develop for free. There’s no catch, no membership fee, no place you have to go.

So What Is This Wonder Habit?

If you haven’t guessed already, this amazing habit is “getting a good night’s sleep, all night, every night”.

“What?” I hear you shout, “You’re trying to tell me that getting enough sleep could help me lose weight, make a heart attack less likely and perhaps reduce my risk of depression? I don’t believe you. That’s too easy! How could getting enough sleep do all that? Don’t you know I NEED to stay up late to get my work finished?”

Did YOU know that most adults in the Western world are sleep deprived? And that sleep deprivation has been shown to contribute DIRECTLY to ill health, low productivity and accidents?

“So What?” I hear you say. Or perhaps you’re saying that you

  • need to relax in the evening after a hard day’s work;
  • want to go out and party;
  • need some “me” time;
  • it’s the only time you have to play your sport / practise your hobby?

Those Are Just Excuses!

All of those are just habits and we use them as excuses to stay up late. I know an 11 year-old who hates going to bed because she is frightened of missing something interesting. Even as adults, we allow our inner child to whine and keep us up late in case something new and interesting comes along! It’s often the same reason we keep our cell phones on, in case a friend wants us to come over and party! It is said that we are creatures of habit, more than we are creatures of change (A J Darkholme). Whether we have good habits or bad, whatever we say or do is often the product of those habits that have made a groove in our minds, through years of repetition. And our lives at this very moment, are probably a mirror image of our daily habits, whether those include being a gym bunny or a couch potato, a reader or TV watcher, a healthy eater or a junk food addict. No matter what habits we have, our lives will show them, one way or another, in our health, our skin, our posture, even in our clumsiness or the number of accidents we have at work or driving.

Habits Are Powerful Forces For Good Or Ill.

A habit is something we do regularly, maybe every day, maybe several times a day and it is something we do not need to think about, it’s automatic. Our habits become second nature, hard wired into us. If you exercise your muscles over and over, they get bigger and stronger and exactly the same is true for the connections in your brain – including those connected to habits. If you practise an action regularly, you build a stronger connection in your brain, making it easier to repeat that action until it becomes an automatic habit.

Our habits are so ingrained as part of our being, that changing poor habits for better ones may not be an easy task. But developing a good habit is something that will benefit us for the rest of our lives. What habits do we already have? Check out your own habits, developed from childhood and through adulthood, like brushing your teeth before bed, or checking your reflection before going out through the door. There will be many of them. Some may be annual, like the habits developed around the holidays you celebrate, others will be daily habits, like changing out of work clothes as soon as you get home. Some may even be bad or undesirable habits, ones you might like to stop, such as nail biting.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit. (Will Durant, paraphrasing Aristotle). That means we can develop a habit of excellence by building up all the small habits that contribute to the larger pursuit of excellence.

Good Sleeping Habits

The recommended amount of sleep nightly for an adult is about 8 hours. It can vary between 7 and 9 hours and the quality of sleep is important too.

The amount and quality of sleep you get can depend on several things, including of course,

  • the time you go to bed and get up;
  • whether you wake during the night;
  • how long it takes to go to sleep and get back to sleep if you wake;
  • whether you have sleep apnea;
  • your partner’s behavior or snoring;
  • room temperature, amount of light and noise in your environment;
  • what you ate and drank especially just before bed,
  • medications,
  • what you did during the evening; and,
  • exercise.

How To Get Better Sleep

What you do during the day and the evening before bedtime will affect the amount and quality of your sleep. If you want to get better sleep, there are some fairly minor tweaks you can make that can help.

Get To Sleep

  • Decide on the time you want to go to bed and get up, for example, 11pm to 7am and stick to that, even at the weekend. This is a habit that can be learned and which will become automatic.
  • Turn off all electronic media 30 minutes before going to bed.
  • Develop a relaxing bedtime ritual for instance, try to stay in an area with less bright lighting and perhaps do something soothing or relaxing, even clearing away the dishes!

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FOR INSOMNIA SUFFERERS
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FOR INSOMNIA SUFFERERS

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Sleep Well

  • Turn off your phone. Some phones can make noises when searching for texts and this can disturb your sleep, even if you don’t think you hear it. It also removes the temptation to “just check” your texts or play a game;
  • Get some exercise during the day. Vigorous exercise is best but not during the evening; that might stimulate you into staying awake;
  • Make sure your environment is comfortable (no light, comfy bed and pillows, not too hot) and free from noise, including a snoring sleep partner;
  • If you are not sleeping well, you may have a degree of sleep apnea. If you think your sleep is being disturbed by this, check with your medical adviser.

Stay Asleep

  • Avoid daytime naps. If you HAVE to have a sleep during the day, then make it a power nap (less than 20 minutes);
  • Avoid caffeine in the evening. This includes tea, coffee, cola and chocolate. Some people may need to avoid caffeine from even earlier in the day.
  • Avoid alcohol, heavy meals and a lot of liquid. Get your liquid intake in during the day.

Get Back To Sleep

  • If you need to wake during the night, say for a bathroom break or to deal with a restless child, try to develop a routine or ritual to get back to sleep, for instance a relaxation exercise or a continuing story you tell yourself.

It’s Not Working

  • If you are finding it hard to develop the habit of sleeping well, then try the following:
    • keep a sleep diary. Check all the items above and write down your evening routines, whether you slept during the day and what you ate and drank;
    • keep a journal of your sleeping habits. Create a tick sheet of what you need to do to sleep well and check off whether you did this;
    • For some people, white noise (like that produced by a vacuum cleaner) may be helpful;
    • Relaxation sounds like pouring rain, waves at the ocean or a cat purring can help and can be played, (even on an MP3 player if these would disturb your partner);
    • Relaxation exercises and spoken relaxation scripts can be downloaded from the internet, some free, some paid for.

Good Sleep Habits

A good night’s sleep is just as important as regular exercise and a healthy diet.

Conclusion

Research shows that lack of sufficient, good quality sleep can have a negative effect on your hormones, exercise performance and brain function. For both adults and children, it can also cause weight gain and an increased risk of serious illnesses, like diabetes, heart attack and stroke.

In contrast, good sleep can help you eat less, exercise better and be healthier.

Walk On The Other Side

Insanity has been defined as “Doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results”. There is disagreement on who coined the phrase. There is even disagreement on whether the saying is useful at all.

But I was reminded of it this morning on a rural walk. I take the same walk most mornings in the week. It’s over 3 miles and includes a fairly steep climb. That makes it a useful exercise.

I also like to take photographs of what I see on the walk. On a country road with no footpath, it is safer to walk on the same side as traffic coming towards you. That means I mostly see things on one side of the road. That’s also the sunny side of the road, so the light is often better for photographs. Walking the same walk every day can become part of your comfort zone.

Today, I changed sides and walked on the other side. It was shadier. I also had to keep an ear out for any cars coming up behind me. BUT, I saw a lot of things I did not see on the sunny side. It’s now autumn, so there were many different kinds of fungus, even one unusual rare one that was not present on the sunny side. The blackberries were slightly behind those on the sunny side, extending the season for foraging.

So what does this say about life in general? Walking on the same side every day is pleasant but you can miss a lot.

If you change your way of doing things, even by as little as walking on the opposite side of the road, you can get results you never expected because it takes you out of your comfort zone and lets you see things differently. You may notice something you never realised was there before. That also goes for walking the circuit in the opposite direction. The hill is steeper that way, giving a tougher exercise.

What different small change could YOU make to something you do often? What results do you think you might get? Try it and see. You might be pleasantly surprised by the results from a walk on the other side.

Art Needs Craft

I heard an unusual quote the other day. It was just a throw away saying on a radio program.

A music professor said, “Craft doesn’t need art.” “But art needs craft.”

That took a bit of thinking about.

But he had a point. In fact, a very good point.

It takes practice to make something beautiful. Whether that is a musical composition, a poem, a website, a wooden ornament or a tasty dinner.

The word “Craft” usually means “skill in making things by hand”. We talk about a craftsman or craftswoman, producing furniture, garments or jewelry. They will have practised for many hours to make their beautiful items.

We also talk about artists, yet without the skill and hours of practice at the craft, their art often does not come to fruition. Artists of any kind practise and practise.

Is this where perfectionism comes in? An artist of some kind wants to produce something beautiful without the many hours of practice required for that craft?

I am also reminded of the story of a sculpting class in university, where students were instructed to create a model of some kind, using as a base, chicken wire fastened to a metal structure.

Making the chicken wire and metal construction took time and some students were too impatient to bother with this mundane crafting step. Their clay models collapsed because they had no foundation.

Art needs craft.

What craft work do you need to do in order to provide good support to your art, whatever your art may be?

Bramble Purpose In Life

Bramble Patch Purpose

Is time management important to you? You may not have even thought about it until someone asked you to add one more to a long list of tasks or you got sent on a time management training course. Maybe you have just found that it’s impossible to do everything you might WANT to do? And you also realised that typical time management doesn’t mean anything to you. Have you ever thought of looking about you into nature for inspiration?

You CAN get everything done that you NEED to do if you take some tips from the bramble patch.

You may have brambles in your garden. Perhaps you planted them for their fruit or they may have just grown there and you would love to get rid of them! If you don’t have any brambles in your yard, there may be some in a rural location you visit to collect berries in the autumn.

Whether you have a bramble you love or not, almost everyone knows about the briar patch, the prickles and the juicy fruit but did you know you can also learn about time management from the bramble? Brambles are prickly shrubs with long looping thorny shoots – only the blackberry in the UK – but also including the raspberry in the US. There are thought to be 1,000 different varieties of bramble worldwide! So it is a widespread and successful plant. But how does it demonstrate time management?

Time Management starts with a Purpose.

(If you want to find out about your own purpose, scroll straight down to the bottom of this article now.)
The bramble has one purpose, to spread as far and wide as it can and to hold onto any territory it has gained. Any gardener knows that unwanted brambles are VERY difficult to remove and the longer you put it off, the harder it gets and the bigger the patch grows. In order to achieve its purpose, the bramble needs to hold onto the ground it has, spread into new areas and protect its core, in case of damage. These are its main goals.

Needs To Keep Ground Already Won

Protection

The bramble doesn’t want to get eaten by animals as a source of food, so its shoots have strong thorns that provide good protection from grazing animals. These thorns are also backward facing and can help shoots move rapidly through the undergrowth as they grow. The shoots grow in a tangle because their ends root into the ground, forming loops that rapidly create an impenetrable tangle.

Needs to Spread

Long arching shoots

In order to gain new ground, the bramble has to spread. It does that by getting resources (water, sunshine) and using these to send long shoots arching quickly into the air (to gain distance) and which then bend down to the ground. If the tip touches the ground, it sends out roots and a new plant becomes established.

Flowers and fruit

It also spreads by means of its fruit which is sweet and juicy and very attractive to many animals, including humans. The fruit includes seeds that are highly resistant to digestive system acids. They can also survive for 100 years! Animals eat the fruit and the seeds get scattered in their dung, so they have their own source of fertiliser ready made. The seeds create new bramble patches at a distance from the parent plant if they reach somewhere suitable.

Need To Protect Its Core

Brambles have a perennial underground rootstock. It is hidden below the earth, making it resistant to damage and possibly keeping it safe from fire.

So what is Your Purpose?

The bramble’s purpose is to spread as far and wide as it can. (OK, I know that a bramble doesn’t have a brain, nor does it appear to make conscious choices, however, its ACTIONS appear to be as good a way as any of determining what its purpose might be if it were a sentient being.)

What is your purpose? Why are you here, what is it you want to achieve?

Do you want just to survive and keep your head down, making as few waves as possible, just to get by?

Is your purpose to bring up your children as best you can?

Maybe it’s to be a success in your chosen employment or to win a race or achieve a difficult goal?

What Do You Need To Do To Achieve That Purpose?

The bramble needs to spread, to gain ground, (using looping shoots and seeds), it needs protection (thorns) and it needs to keep its core safe (perennial underground roots).

Brambles are highly successful plants, spreading aggressively, protecting themselves and keeping their core safe. They demonstrate time management through their actions in achieving their PURPOSE and in using their GOALS (spread, protect, hidden core) to achieve their purpose.

How can YOU copy the bramble and achieve YOUR purpose?

If you want to find your life purpose, watch this video:

https://youtu.be/js_Q27lMs_8

You can get the book at

The Secret Is In The Bramble

Are You A Bramble Marketer?

On my frequent walks in the local area, I get time to observe the local environment and sometimes really useful ideas spring up from things I have seen. The local hedgerows have a lot of brambles and this year, they have been shouting at me to watch them and learn.

What do you think of brambles?

  • A garden nuisance, with their long thorny stems, that are painful and difficult to remove?
  • A walker’s or forager’s favorite, with juicy black fruits ready to pick and munch in autumn?
  • Or maybe you have never really thought about them at all?

Secrets

The bramble holds several secrets that we can learn from if we want. For instance:

  • Did you know there are said to be 1000 described species of bramble in the world, with over 320 microspecies?
  • The study of brambles has its own name – batology.
  • Even more important, the bramble is excellently adapted to obtain its nutrients and light at the expense of other species.

So?

Read on to see what that means for YOU and Your Motivation to Market:

  • A bramble is any tangled, prickly, rough shrub, usually a blackberry in the UK, though it may also be a raspberry in the USA.
  • It has an underground, perennial rootstock that throws up new shoots or suckers in the Spring. Perennial means it lives for many years.
  • The new shoots last for two years.
  • In their first year, these shoots grow as very long arching stems, reaching down to the ground.
  • If the tip of the shoot touches the soil it can develop roots and form a daughter plant. Those roots then form part of the underground rootstock.
  • In the second year, these shoots develop flowers and then fruits.
  • Brambles are difficult to eradicate once they have become established.
  • If you try removing the rootstock, anything left below ground may regenerate.
  • The root systems will be so wide-spread and interwoven that removing them would require digging up the entire area.

OK, so what does all this information mean for secrets in marketing motivation?

Bramble Root System – Perennial Rootstock

The root of the bramble plant is persistent and perennial, it lasts for years.

Being underground it is hidden.

For established bramble patches it spreads all over the area and is very hard to get rid of.

New shoots (first year) try to arch to a distance from the parent plant and then reach down to touch the ground, forming a new perennial rootstock at a distance from the parent plant.

The rootstock throws up new shoots every year.

Learning Points

How can you make your product(s) or your marketing efforts perennial, so they will last for years?

What does “hidden underground” mean for your marketing (or product)?

How can you keep your rootstock spreading so it is hard to get rid of and any left over piece will send up new shoots?

What new shoots do you need to throw up?

Trip Hazard

On footpaths and in areas of semi woodland, say, brambles can create a trip hazard with those first-year arching shoots that root at their tips.

Learning Points

How can you trip your customers into staying on your web page or with your promoted product, so they stay longer, perhaps buy more?

Any “trip” needs to be ethical, to keep your customer interested. What would interest them? Do you know what brought them to that page? What did they expect or want? Can you give them more of that?

First year bramble shoots

These are the long, dangly, arching stems that try to reach as far as possible from the parent plant. Once they touch the ground, they send out new roots. That starts a fresh bramble bush, with the same genetics as the parent.

Learning Points

Can you send out long first-year bramble shoots in YOUR business?

What would those look like? For the bramble, they are still part of the original bush and spread it further.

How can you spread your niche further?

Is there another micro niche you could spread into?

Maybe a different variation of a successful product?

Second year shoots

These shoots are shorter and close to the main plant. This may be because many of the the long first year shoots have been cut back to keep the paths open and not choked with brambles.

These shoots can bear fruits and flowers simultaneously, that is, they keep flowering throughout the summer, even after fruit has been set. The bramble needs the flowers to produce the fruit. It uses the fruit to spread itself further. The fruit contains seeds. The fruit is attractive to animals as well as humans, these eat the fruit and spread the seed, possibly a LOT further than the first year arching shoots can do.

Learning Points

What “fruit” are you using to attract your customers?

What “seed” is contained within?

How will this help you increase your marketing reach?

If you consider this as your social media marketing, your fruit is the meme, picture or quote that everyone wants to share. What seed or message goes along with it? Your URL? A product review? Maybe a free gift that can spread your message?

Keeps flowering

The bramble keeps on flowering even when ripe fruit is available. It takes no account of the fruit that has already been produced, after all, who knows whether the seed in that fruit will reach a suitable site? The only way to reach new ground is to keep on flowering and producing fruit.

Learning Points

Are there any time management techniques you need to employ to follow this strategy? Outsourcing? Automation?

Conclusion

The bramble is a survivor. Its seed can survive up to 100 years and STILL sprout. It spreads 3 ways, by extending its underground root system, by sending out long shoots to form new plants and through seeds, dispersed by animals. The rootstock is perennial (lives many years) and hidden and sends up new suckers or shoots every year.

It is an amazing plant. (I love blackberries in any form).

It also provides a lot of lessons in motivation and marketing. Are you a bramble marketer?

Want A WorkBook For This?

You can get a workbook with the learning points in it as a 3 page downloadable PDF here.